Today is my last day in the mountains. by 10pm tonite i will be back among the grit and grime that is new york city. but at this moment i feel nothing more than loneliness. at 2:06 my day usually wouldn't be over yet, i'd be in the passanger in an 18 wheeler truck along some dark highway heading "home". but not tonite. it was his day off, and he's now asleep. and while this is my last day here, the words "i'm sorry" are the only words he can find the energy to mumble between snores. i guess i should understand, but i don't know what it is that i should be understanding...we expended the same amount of energy today- zero. when he drives, i'm awake. we get about the same amount of sleep. i feel like today, should be an expection. no sleep tonite. our month of over the road bliss is cut short because i have to go back to school...and work...and subways...busy schedules...basically a life with no time for each other.

unhappy. lonely.



bill maher will keep me company tonite.